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The Symbiotic Narcissism of “You Can See Everything”

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Spoiler Alert: While I won’t be giving away the entirety of You Can See Everything, I will have to discuss some important aspects of the film in order for this to be a piece worth reading. So if you hate a spoiler, you may want to watch the film before reading this.

close-up photo of Elizabeth Holmes from You Can See Everything by A24

My spouse and I have been thinking about You Can See Everything since we saw it in theaters a few days ago. It is a very well made, interesting film. My ADHD makes it almost impossible for me to sit through an entire movie, but y’all, I did not move for the entire three hours of this. I have never seen a documentary like it, and at the same time, I feel like it highlights a fundamental truth about all documentaries: we are always being manipulated.

The manipulation is a main character in this film, not only from Elizabeth Holmes and her horrible partner Billy Evans, but from Nathan Fielder (which is a surprise to nobody who has seen his work before), and pretty much everyone else involved in this project. Who is telling the truth? Who is lying? Who is being taken advantage of? The only thing that we can be really sure of after watching the film is that we, the viewer, are being taken for a ride - one that we’ve willingly paid for.

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I don’t normally want to watch a film about the trials and tribulations of a wealthy white woman, it is one of my least favorite genres (30-something white man trying to find himself and heal his relationship with his dad via road trip and sex with quirky white women is perhaps my all-time least favorite). But I am a fan of Nathan Fielder, and I must admit to following the Elizabeth Holmes case as it was unfolding, and it just looked so interesting.

And it was interesting, and surprising, and a very good piece of film. And I left with conflicted feelings (which I absolutely believe was the filmmakers’ intent) that I’m still sitting with. And as I’ve thought about this film over the past few days, what has really stood out to me is the overwhelming whiteness of the particular symbiotic abuse of Elizabeth Holmes, Billy Evans, and all of us.

Let me start off by saying this: I wish nothing but awful things for Billy Evans. It has been a long time since I’ve disliked a man so instantly and deeply. He is a manipulative, controlling, narcissistic, misogynist. I want to telepathically send bedbugs to every hotel he ever stays at. I want him to shit himself every time he has a sip of an energy drink.

Watching the film, it becomes clear that Evans set his sights on Holmes because she was mired in controversy, not in spite of it. It is clear that he sees her infamy as his path to fame, wealth and power. It is clear that he has no respect for women - his own partner included. I can bet you money that on some level Evans is thankful for every day that Holmes is in prison, because it’s another day that he gets to literally play her like an online avatar.

And I do not think Holmes should be in prison - not because I do not think she is guilty of the crimes she was accused of - but because I do not think anybody should be in prison. I am sad for her and her children, just as I am sad for all incarcerated people and their loved ones.

But as we watch Fielder’s desperate attempts to let Holmes know how Evans is manipulating her and her image, it becomes very clear that Holmes doesn’t want to know. And her not wanting to know is not born out of a desire to preserve her own image of her partner as some perfect man, but to preserve her own image of herself as the perfect innocent.

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Holmes is a smart woman. Yes, it is clear that she is likely neurodivergent in some way. But she also (and I say this as a neurodivergent woman) wears that neurodivergence as a costume. She both “doesn’t get it” but also knows exactly how to communicate to you how she doesn’t get it. She is clueless but in a way that is so scripted as to leave you with no doubt of how clueless she is. She is vulnerable and lost but in a way that never leaves her for a loss of ways to tell you about how vulnerable and lost she is.

And she’s a woman who was so polished and poised and controlled when she was a “self-made” billionaire, and is now in this film a messy-haired, wide-eyed, sad and confused woman in a rental home by the water. Even the home that this documentary is filmed in feels like part of Holmes’ costume. Just months before filming, she and her small family were living in a multi-million dollar estate in the Bay, but for this time before her incarceration, when they were not only filming this documentary, but also trying to convince judges that they were experiencing extreme financial hardship, she was in a modest, outdated, two bedroom cottage.

When Fielder tries to talk to Holmes about the manipulations of Evans, it is clear that she had no desire to hear it. And she is so confident in that desire. She knows that not knowing is best for her. Just as it was best for her to not know the details of her ex partner’s actions.

I say this without reservation: Holmes is being controlled and manipulated by Evans. But I also say this, with perhaps a little reservation (mostly because it just feels shitty to say): Holmes wants to be controlled and manipulated by Evans, because it allows her to control and manipulate us.

Holmes wants money, power, influence. Holmes wants to cut backroom deals for profits off of the documentary about her and she wants people who portray her in a less-than-favorable light to be punished, and she wants to be the next phenom - and she doesn’t want to be seen wanting it. She doesn’t want to be held responsible for it. She wants it to be done for her and she wants to hide behind the people who are doing it.

And it feels so fucking familiar.

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I’ve encountered so many white women like this. White women whose husbands “take care of them” while also harming others. White women who have Black friends and queer friends and their partners get drunk and say slurs and likely voted for Trump but they can never say one way or the other because they “don’t discuss politics”. White women who complain that their order is wrong and then disappear to the bathroom so their partners can yell at the server without them having to witness the awkwardness of it all, and then return to eat their now correct dish.

There is a dual-narcissism to these kinds of relationships. The overt narcissism of the man who needs to look like the most important, smartest, most in-control person in the room, and the quiet narcissism of a woman who needs to be the most innocent, the most faithful, the most oblivious person in the room. And there is a chicken-or-egg question here, to be sure. Was Holmes like this before these men came into her life? Did she seek them out to help them accomplish her goals? Or did these men condition her to be this way? I’ve seen both, and I’ve also seen that it’s often a combination of both.

I think that Holmes absolutely knows who her partner is, and what that allows her to do. And I do think that should she need to in a few years time, if Theranos 2.0 doesn’t work out or if she just needs a way to get back into the spotlight, she will absolutely point to this film and use her emancipation from the villain that is Billy Evans to launch her new brand.

But in the meantime, this man - this narcissistic misogynist- is raising her kids. And that’s what I really can’t stop thinking about. He’s raising her kids with 100% unchallenged control; not only because she is in prison, but because she has given him power of attorney over her life and has seemingly rejected any opportunities for knowledge or empowerment as to what decisions her partner is making. She knows at least to a good degree what type of man her partner is and she has given up any control over how her children are raised by him and one day, when her kids ask her why, she will say - with wide, innocent eyes - that she didn’t know, that perhaps she should have asked more questions, but she was just so trusting, so in love.

And she is trapped now, in so many ways. She is in prison. This man does have her kids. He has control over her life in a way that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. And as frustrated as I am over the way Holmes clings to plausible deniability as to who her partner really is, who her ex partner really was, and how much agency she has had in the harmful things she’s done, I can see why right now why she clings to it. She needs to see her kids. She needs someone to keep her name in the limelight. And when she gets out of prison, she needs someone to be the reason why you don’t know the real her, why it isn’t her fault, why she deserves a second chance.

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rocketo
3 hours ago
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"And when she gets out of prison, she needs someone to be the reason why you don’t know the real her, why it isn’t her fault, why she deserves a second chance."
seattle, wa
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the yahoo CEO who bought tumblr all those years ago has to ask chatgpt to list three things she…

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turnipfritters:

the yahoo CEO who bought tumblr all those years ago has to ask chatgpt to list three things she likes about her 10 year old daughter

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rocketo
6 hours ago
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On Doing The Impossible

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On Doing The Impossible

Sentences that immediately precede financial ruin: so a friend of mine has been getting me into Magic: The Gathering lately. Unfortunately, since I am trying to finish a novel in around two weeks, I haven’t had much time to play or explore the mechanics. Instead, I have taken to exploring the fandom and its history through YouTube. This is what brought me to the Rhystic Studies video Red Deck Wins, which reactivated my dormant obsession with skateboarding.

During the lockdown for the COVID-19 pandemic in New York, I bought a skateboard. Like a lot of people, I had grown up with Tony Hawk Pro Skater, wishing I knew how to ride like Hawk or Rodney Mullen. But what had really invigorated my love of skateboarding—and would ultimately be the reason why I could never be a great or even good skater—were the antics of skateboarder Ali Boulala.

The Flip skateboarding tape Sorry was something I watched over and over and over in high school, and the highlight for me was always Boulala’s part. He skated around France as if the entire country was his, often doing reckless, dangerous stunts on various pieces of public architecture. The most famous was his failed attempt to jump 25 stairs in Lyon, which ended when he kicked his board away mid attempt and landed on both of his feet. He couldn’t skate for two months after that. In order to be a good skateboarder, you just can’t be afraid of getting hurt, even hurt badly. I am not that kind of person—I do fear physical pain.

Red Deck Wins is all about the dominance of classic mono-red Magic decks. The conceit is simple—as long as you can last until the fourth turn, you can just dominate your opponent with cheap cards. It’s high risk and high reward, relying on perseverance and stamina to hurtle you towards an explosive ending. You can see where the comparison to skateboarding comes in, and the video also namedrops one of my favorite bands, PUP, whose vocalist Stefan Babcock famously blew out his vocal chords in the lead up to their second album The Dream Is Over. But what it makes me think about is the delusional level of self confidence one needs to have to get anything creative done, ever.

Red Deck Wins opens with a clip of skateboarder Aaron Homoki successfully completing the 25 stair jump in 2015 that Boulala failed to complete in 2002. I ended up watching the video from Thrasher that documented his attempts. It’s fascinating—what I keep lingering on is his second to last attempt.

After tearing his MCL on his first attempt, Homoki went back the following year to try again, only to be kicked out by the police. They allowed him one hour to attempt the trick the next morning, and Homoki puts everything into it. He breaks a couple boards, he hurts himself a little bit, and on the second to last attempt he successfully lands at the bottom—he just doesn’t roll away.

“Oh my god, I can do it though,” he says to himself as gets back on his board and climbs back up the stairs. “I can do it.”

I think this is the only way you can ever achieve anything—to commit so hard that even under the risk of incredible injury, to just know, in your gut, that you can do this. It has been the only thing that has motivated me to keep writing, even after losing my job and trying to build myself back up from that. I just know I can do it. There’s no rational belief system behind that, it’s just something I have to believe, because if I didn’t I would just completely fall apart. It’s not that I’m not afraid of the pain. I just can’t let it stop me.

Starting Aftermath was also something I’d consider high risk, high reward, as is writing a novel on as tight of a deadline as I am. You’re probably not going to break any bones doing these things, but you can still absolutely eat shit, fall flat on your face, fail utterly. But as Rhystic Studies says in Red Deck Wins, it’s the risk that makes it an utter thrill.

“I used to think the red deck was cheap, dumb and simplistic. But the older I get the more I understand the attitude of those who play with mountains and a grip full of fire,” he says. “This one’s for those who go all in.”

This is a four year old YouTube video with 940k views—I know I’m late to the party. But it’s also been a long time since I’ve felt so moved by a YouTube video, and I’ve certainly never thought Magic: The Gathering would be a topic that could make me feel so utterly affirmed for the often downright stupid choices I’ve made in this life. Right now I’m freefalling, in the air between the first and 25th step. I don’t know if I’ll land. The impact could really hurt me. But I’m not afraid. I know I can do it.

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rocketo
4 days ago
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Mississippi Attorney General Declares Police Shooting of 1-Year-Old “Justified”

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Mississippi’s attorney general announced Monday that the police shooting of 1-year-old Kohen Wiley in June “was justified.” “Today, the Office of the Attorney General announced it has completed the review of a June 14, 2026, incident in Senatobia involving one officer with the Senatobia Police Department,” the statement from the office of Mississippi’s attorney general, Lynn Fitch, said.

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rocketo
5 days ago
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another victory for the party of life
seattle, wa
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The 30-Year-Old Behind You Can See Everything

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Spoilers ahead for the plot of You Can See Everything. More »
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rocketo
7 days ago
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a fascinating film that could only be made by such a bonkers filmmaker
seattle, wa
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I’m Sick of the Left’s Purity Tests

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Not a very big tent. (Photo: Getty)

Here we go again. Just as the political pendulum swings in its favor, the political left risks torpedoing its newfound opportunities with “purity tests” that it seems like few are pure enough to pass. Can the left avoid this trap, and build real power in the Democratic Party? Or will we keep on making the same old mistakes?

After 20,000 dead children in Gaza, Americans are starting to question their unblinking allegiance to Israel. Democrats who not long ago were making videos for AIPAC are now disavowing it. Israel’s decision to kill a thousand people during the ceasefire has made some doubt the durability of the ceasefire. All in all, the young protesters who were kicked out of their universities for protesting this genocide should take a moment to congratulate themselves on this win, as they sit in class at a community college or wherever.

Yet the left’s purists risk pushing this controversy too far. As Democrats turn towards the 2028 presidential race, there is little upside in demonizing those who were slower to turn on Israel than others. We must acknowledge that just as it was difficult for Palestinian families to see their children crushed under rubble, so too was it difficult for Joe Biden’s foreign policy advisors to handle the stress of being so fed up with Netanyahu’s hijinks that they nearly considered not sending him as many weapons. For every family in Gaza angry that they are being bombed, there is an IDF soldier angry that someone yelled at them while they were on vacation. There is pain on both sides.

Zohran Mamdani is the left’s greatest political achievement. Yet even he can find himself on the wrong side of purity tests. As we speak, his own political base is demanding that he fire Jessica Tisch, the head of the NYPD. These socialist, abolitionist activists seem to feel that even after getting one of their allies elected as mayor, they should still continue urging him to take steps to align his policies with their own goals and beliefs.

Give it a rest!

Ever wonder why the Democrats can’t seem to wield power as ruthlessly as Republicans can? Two words: purity tests. Once you take a look around, you start to see them everywhere. “Oh, we shouldn’t be deregulating crypto as our personal staff members and family directly cash in!” “Oh, we should be trying to regulate AI even if it means that all the rich AI donors will give money to the other side!” “Oh, when we regain power we should prosecute the many crimes of corruption that are currently being committed, rather than allowing the nation to heal!” This all-too-familiar “circular firing squad” of leftists is quick to take aim at anyone on their own side perceived as being “impure” just because they are directly employed by the ruthless business interests that our party is purportedly interested in reining in.

Ultimately, the left always finds itself marginalized because it is hostile to the concept of a Big Tent Party. Their hostility persists despite the fact that a big tent sounds fun and welcoming, like a visit to the circus. Right? Who hates the circus?

Sadly: the left. As you would imagine, few people want to visit a circus if they have to pass a purity test at the entryway. Rather than seeking to help Democrats expand the map, leftists often allow their own strident beliefs to push potential allies away. We can forget that coastal cultural values may seem like “common sense” in Brooklyn and Berkeley, but not in middle America. Perhaps it would serve the self-righteous denizens of the left well to practice being a bit more welcoming themselves?

Try this: “Hello, welcome to the Democratic Party’s Big Tent. We are happy to have you! This is a welcoming atmosphere. If you hate trans people and want to kick them out of the military and fire them from their jobs and deny them medical care and public accommodations and persecute them, that does not make us ‘enemies.’ It makes us a Big Tent. And in the middle of that tent? A belief in middle class prosperity.”

“If you are ‘pro-life’ and want to deny women the right to make their own choices about their own bodies, that does not makes us ‘political opponents.’ We are all here, in this big tent, cheering on a modest increase in health insurance tax credits.”

See how good unity feels? The path to electoral success is paved by flexibility on distracting “culture war” issues like human rights, in order to form an unstoppable alliance for tax cuts on Americans earning less than $400,000 per year. Serious political people understand this. Serious people are in the Big Tent. The leftists who stand outside and scream about the fact that the tent was erected by subcontracted off-the-books immigrant laborers being paid less than minimum wage will have to take comfort in their own purity while the rest of us do the business of governing.

The saddest part of the left’s purity tests is that they end up harming the very people they are supposed to help. “Radicals” wedded to their own perfect ideology often miss this. Those of us who reject such purity tests in the name of expanding the tent are the ones who get the satisfaction of going up to the fired trans teacher, or the red state teenager forced to have a baby she didn’t want, or the wailing mother of a bombed child in Gaza, and say to them: “We just want you to know that your pet issue is so important that we were able to trade it away in exchange for our agenda of affordability.”

Don’t thank us. Just try to learn something from those of us who live in the real world. Without us, the left would soon find that all of its political opponents had migrated to the other party, while the Democratic Party itself was transformed into a blinkered institution that only fights for things that are “good.”

Is that what you want?

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rocketo
10 days ago
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they had me in the first half, not gonna lie
seattle, wa
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