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How to avoid listening to Radiohead

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A cheap mess xmas stocking filled with zines, stickers, pins, candy, cheap toys, and assorted other stuff
Read all the way to the bottom for your goodie stocking.

💰 Support my bullshit for $2/mo💰


This week’s question comes to us from Mike Jacobsen:

I love Radiohead. My wife, on the other hand, really hates them. We have come to an understanding that their music won’t be played in her presence. So my question is how do you convince your spouse of the virtues of Radiohead?

You don’t.

I’d encourage you to respect the understanding you claim to have reached with your wife, both in letter and in spirit. Cause right now you’re looking for a way to break that understanding. You’re using a ceasefire as an opportunity to find more ammunition, and I don’t want to help with that.

I will of course help you, but not in the way you were hoping to. Which is kinda the lingua franca of this newsletter. (Look at me, getting fancy!)

The bigger issue here is that you believe your spouse is wrong. That the virtues of Radiohead would just reveal themselves to her if she were to open her mind, or listen more carefully, or adjust her taste levels, or fix herself in some way as to make the undeniable virtues of their music obvious to her. Which is bullshit. She’s not wrong in not liking a band that you like, and you’re not wrong in liking a band that she doesn’t. You like different stuff, and not only is that okay, it’s necessary in a relationship. Part of being together is having things that you enjoy doing by yourself.

I get that you’re trying to share something you enjoy. That’s a nice thing to do. You love a thing. It’s brought you good feelings. And you want to share those good feelings with someone you care about. You want them to enjoy something as much as you do. That’s commendable. I’d encourage you to keep doing that. Everyone is looking for more things to enjoy, and we certainly need them. And I bet you’ve probably recommended a bunch of stuff to your spouse, and to your friends, and to your neighbors, that hit the mark and brought them joy. You should hold on to those victories, and use them as data to build that little recommendation engine in your heart. And I’d also encourage you to remember your original intent—wanting to bring joy to someone you care about. Because that’s the key.

Once your spouse says “yeah, Radiohead isn’t for me” that door is closed. You went in with good intention, which is commendable, but it didn’t work out. It happens. And because your original intent was to bring this person joy, you take the loss and move on. Doubling down and insisting that they’re wrong to not enjoy something is going to make someone feel bad. Which was the opposite of your original intent, yes? Yes.

Also, you’re making music a chore, which is a sin.

Let’s discuss one of the most violent phrases in the English language: “Did you read that book I gave you?” For the sake of transparency, I’ll admit to once having been one of these people. You come across a book, you decide someone would enjoy it, you give them a copy for their birthday, or Christmas, or just ‘cause. Then every time we see them we ask them if they’ve read it. What we’re really looking for is an award for having recommended the right book, or the right band, or the right TV show to someone. You’ve turned joy into a point accumulation exercise for yourself.

I was lucky enough that someone eventually told me that every time I asked them if they’d read the book I gave them it made them feel guilty for not having read it yet. I’d turned a gift into a chore and chores making horrible gifts.

I love recommending things to people. Music. Books. TV Shows. Movies. Restaurants. If I’m experiencing joy in something I want to spread it around and tell other people about it. And all those recommendations are made with good intention. I’ve also learned that once you make the original recommendation you need to back off. Either people will try something or they won’t. (Their lives might not be aligned with trying a new thing at the moment for a variety of reasons.) If they try it they might come back to you and tell you they enjoyed it, and that feels great. They might also enjoy it and not feel the need to report back, which is fine. Your joy should come from sharing a joyful thing, not from the validation that you were correct. But checking back in will always turn your recommendation into a chore, which no one wants.

Speaking of which, let me talk about male friendship for a second here. Because male loneliness epidemic, blah blah. Sure, maybe. But in the past few years I’ve been in situations where I make friends with someone, we get to the point where we exchange numbers and within twenty minutes of shaking hands, talking about getting together for a drink later, or whatever, they’ve sent me a link to a 45 minute YouTube video from anything to making your own beer (I don’t drink) to smelting your own knife (are knives smelted?) to the truth about vaccination (I’m deleting and blocking your number.) Then exactly 45 minutes later they’ll text “What did you think of the video I sent?” My dudes, do not do this. I have watched exactly two videos over three minutes on YouTube, and both of them were sent to me by friends I have known forever. (One was a Bobby Fingers video, one was a 6,7 explainer.) The male loneliness epidemic could be cured if men agreed not to share videos with one another for the first six months of a relationship.

Back to Radiohead. I’m going to do you a solid here, Mike. Because you asked a question about Radiohead and I usually listen to music while I write these newsletters, there was no way to really listen to anything except Radiohead while I wrote. I’m going to tell you something that might be crushing at first, but if you just sit with it for a little while you’ll realize what an incredibly lucky guy you are. Ready?

Your spouse is correct.

I started by listening to Kid A, which is ok. It’s passable. There are admittedly a few good songs on it. Then I dove into the deep end and put on A Moon-Shaped Pool, which is… not good, Mike. Honestly, it’s the kind of music you listen to if you’re sending other dudes 45-minute IPA explainer videos, or shit about the Roman Empire. I lasted maybe four songs. Then I retreated to Amnesiac, which I remember liking when it first came out. It’s better than A Moon-Shaped Pool, but I can’t stress this enough—almost everything is.

So if I were you, I would be very happy that your spouse knows what they like, what they don’t like, and is willing to communicate that to you clearly. I’d stop bugging her about this, because she is correct.

I am lucky enough that I live with someone who brings different musical tastes into the relationship. Our venn diagram is music we both like is fairly small, but it’s solid. Erika absolutely hates what she calls “sad white guy music,” which I enjoy. (Enjoy probably isn’t the right word. It’s more like I gravitate towards it sometimes because of a Catholic upbringing.) And while we haven’t come to a stated understanding that it won’t be played in her presence, if she’s close by and I’m putting on music I’ll try to put on something that I know we both enjoy because my goal is to create a shared space where we’re both comfortable. We have enough music that we both enjoy that I don’t feel like I’m being robbed of my “sad white guy music,” which I can put on when she’s off doing something else. And I’m sure she pulls out music I’m not crazy about when I’m not around.

We got here by a lot of trial and error. I’ll put something on, she’ll either like it or not, and we go from there. Sometimes she’ll put something on, and I’ll do the same. (Somehow, she likes the Mountain Goats more than I do, which I cannot explain.) Sometimes she’ll get me to like something I was originally closed off to, and we end up at a Lady Gaga concert having a blast. Which is something I wouldn’t have pictured if she hadn’t tried, and maybe twisted my arm a little bit. I’m ok with that.

So what I’m saying is go ahead and try. The gift is in the trying. But the gift is also in the letting go. Know when to let go. For every Radiohead you strike out with, there’s gonna be something you introduce each other to that hits the mark. And the sooner you move on from the misses, the sooner you get to the hits.

But the best gift of all is that I can now stop listening to Radiohead.


🙋 Got a question for me? Ask it! Unless it’s another question about Radiohead. I think we’re done there.

📣 The last Presenting w/Confidence workshop of 2025 is scheduled for December 11 & 12. Get your ticket, and treat yourself to two sessions of hanging out with amazing people like yourself.

🎅 Remember those cheap mesh stockings you got as a kid that were filled with candy and cheap toys? I made one filled with zines and stickers and other crap! Get yourself one!

💀 Don’t forget your Fuck AI sweater. When the bubble bursts you’re gonna make sure yours already looks a lit worn.

🦃 Thanksgiving reminder: you don’t owe your time to people who want your friends dead.

💰 Enjoying the newsletter? You can support my bullshit for $2/mo.

🍉 The ceasefire is a lie. Please donate to the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund.

🏳️‍⚧️ Today is Trans Day of Remembrance. Please donate what you can to Trans Lifeline. They do the work.

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Iowa City Made Its Buses Free. Traffic Cleared, and So Did the Air.

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Ridership jumped, people cut back on driving and, over the summer, the city extended the program another year.

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This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room,…

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worldheritagepostorganization:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2:

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.

World Heritage Post

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Pluralistic: Zorhan Mamdani's world-class photocopier-kicker (15 Nov 2025)

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Today's links



A nighttime scene in Times Square in the 1960s, with the Camel ad replaced with a Zorhan Mamdani ad. In the foreground the Statue of Liberty is kicking a photocopier.

Zohran Mamdani's world-class photocopier-kicker (permalink)

The most exciting thing about Biden's antitrust enforcers was how good they were at their jobs. They were dead-on chapter-and-verse on every authority and statute available to the administrative branch, and they set about in earnest figuring out how to use those powers to help the American people:

https://www.eff.org/de/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

It was a remarkable contrast from the default Democratic Party line, which is to insist that being elected gives you no power at all, because of filibusters or Republicans or pollsters or decorum or billionaire donors or Mercury in retrograde. It's also a remarkable contrast from Republicans, whose approach to politics is "fuck you, we said so, and our billionaires have showered the Supreme Court in enough money to make that stick."

But under Biden, the trustbusters that had been chosen and fought for by the Warren-Sanders wing of the party proved themselves to be both a) incredibly principled; and b) incredibly skilled. They memorized the rulebook(s) and then figured out what they needed to do to mobilize those rules to makes Americans' lives better by shielding them from swindlers, predators and billionaires (often the same person, obvs).

They epitomized the joke about the photocopier repair tech, who comes into the office, delivers a swift kick to the xerox machine, and hands you a bill for $75.

"$75 for kicking the photocopier?"

"No, it's $5 to kick the photocopier, and $70 for knowing where to kick it."

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff

One of Biden's best photocopier kickers was and is Lina Khan. She embodies the incredible potential of a fully operational battle-station, which is to say that she embodies the awesome power of a skilled technocrat who is also deeply ethical and genuinely interested in helping the public. Technocrats get a bad name, because they tend to be empty suits like Pete Buttigieg, who either didn't know what powers he had, or lacked the courage (or desire) to wield them:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

But another way of saying "technocrat" is "someone who is very good at their job." And that's Khan.

You'll never guess what Khan is doing now: she's co-chairing Zohran Mamdani's transition team!

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/nov/12/yes-new-york-will-soon-be-under-new-management-but-zohran-mamdani-is-just-the-start

Khan's role in the Mamdani administration will be familiar to those of us who cheered her on at the Federal Trade Commission: she is metabolizing the rules that define the actions that mayors are allowed to take, figuring out how to use those actions to improve the lives of working New Yorkers, and making a plan to combine the former with the latter to make a real difference:

https://www.semafor.com/article/11/12/2025/lina-khans-populist-plan-for-new-york-cheaper-hot-dogs-and-other-things

Front and center is the New York City Consumer Protection Law of 1969, which contains a broad prohibition on "unconscionable" commercial practices:

https://repository.law.umich.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2404&context=mjlr

There are many statute books that contain a law like this. For example, Section 5 of the Federal Trade Commission Act bans "unfair and deceptive" practices, and this rule is so useful that it was transposed, almost verbatim, into the statute that defines the Department of Transportation's powers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/16/for-petes-sake/#unfair-and-deceptive

Now, this isn't carte blanche for enforcers to simply point at anything they don't like and declare it to be "unconscionable" or "unfair" or "deceptive" and shut it down. To use these powers, enforcers must first "develop a record" by getting feedback from the public about the problem. The normal way to do this is through "notice and comment," where you collect comments from anyone who wants to weigh in on the issue. Practically speaking, though, "anyone" turns out to be "lawyers and lobbyists working for industry," who are the only people who pay attention to this kind of thing and know how to navigate it.

When Khan was running the FTC, she launched plenty of notice and comment efforts, but she went much further, doing "listening tours" in which she and her officials and staff went to the people, traveling the country convening well-attended public meetings where everyday people got to weigh in on these issues. This is an incredibly powerful approach, because enforcers can only act to address the issues in the record, and if you only hear from lawyers and lobbyists, you can only act to address their concerns.

Remember when Mamdani was on the campaign trail and he went out and talked to street vendors about why halal cart food had gotten so expensive? It turns out that halal cart vendors each have to pay tens of thousands of dollars to economic parasites who've cornered the market on food cart licenses, which they rent out at exorbitant markups to vendors, who pass those costs onto New Yorkers every lunchtime:

https://documentedny.com/2025/11/04/halal-food-trucks-back-mamdani/

That's the kind of thing Khan did when she was running the FTC, identifying serious problems, then seeking out the everyday people best suited to describing how the underlying scams hurt, and how they harmed everyday people:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/24/gouging-the-all-seeing-eye/#i-spy

Khan's already picked out some "unconscionable" practices that the mayor has "standalone authority" to address: everything from hospitals that price gouge on over-the-counter pain meds to sports stadiums that gouge fans on hot dogs and beer. She's taking aim at "algorithmic pricing" (when companies use commercial surveillance data to determine whether you're desperate and raise prices to take advantage of that fact) and junk fees (where the price you pay goes way up at checkout time to pay for a bunch of vague "services" that you can't opt out of).

This is already making all the right people lose their minds, with screaming headlines about how this will "deliver a socialist agenda":

https://web.archive.org/web/20251114230206/https://nypost.com/2025/11/14/us-news/zohran-mamdanis-transition-leader-lina-khan-seeks-more-power-for-him/

In a long-form interview with Jon Stewart, Khan goes deep on her regulatory philosophy and the way she's going to bring the same fire she brought to the most effective FTC since the Carter administration to Mamdani's historic administration of New York City, a municipality with a population and economy that's larger than many US states and foreign nations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRJWM_3OW2Y

One important aspect of Khan's work that she is always at pains to stress is deterrence. When an enforcer acts against a company that is scamming and preying upon the public, their private finances and internal communications become a matter of public record. Employees and executives have to be painstakingly instructed and monitored so that they don't say anything that will prejudice their cases. All this happens irrespective of the eventual outcome of the case.

Remember: we're at the tail end of a 40-year experiment in official tolerance and encouragements for monopolies and corporate predation. Those lost generations saw the construction of a massive edifice of bad case-law and judicial intuition. Smashing that wall won't happen overnight. There will be a lot of losses. But when the process is (part of) the punishment, the mere existence of someone like Khan in a position of power can terrify companies into being on their best behavior.

As MLK put it, "The law can't make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and that's pretty important."

The oligarchs that acquired their wealth and power by ripping off New Yorkers will never truly believe that working people deserve a fair shake – but if they're sufficiently afraid of the likes of Khan, they'll damned well act like they do.

(Image: lee, CC BY-SA 4.0, modified)


Hey look at this (permalink)



A shelf of leatherbound history books with a gilt-stamped series title, 'The World's Famous Events.'

Object permanence (permalink)

#20yrsago Sony begins to recall some infected CDs https://web.archive.org/web/20051127235441/http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/technology/2005-11-14-sony-cds_x.htm

#20yrsago Sony’s rootkit uninstaller is really dangerous https://blog.citp.princeton.edu/2005/11/14/dont-use-sonys-web-based-xcp-uninstaller/

#20yrsago Table made from ancient, giant hard-drive platter https://web.archive.org/web/20050929185244/https://grandideastudio.com/portfolio/index.php?id=1&prod=20

#20yrsago EFF to Sony: you broke it, you oughta fix it https://web.archive.org/web/20051126084944/http://www.eff.org/IP/DRM/Sony-BMG/?f=open-letter-2005-11-14.html

#20yrsago Sony anti-customer technology roundup and time-line https://memex.craphound.com/2005/11/14/sony-anti-customer-technology-roundup-and-time-line/

#20yrsago Visa’s “free” laptop costs at least $60 more than retail in fees https://web.archive.org/web/20051125053825/http://debt-consolidation.strategy-blogs.com/2005/10/free-laptop-from-visa.html

#20yrsago Sony’s rootkit infringes on software copyrights https://web.archive.org/web/20061108150242/https://dewinter.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=215

#20yrsago Gizmodo flamed by crazy inventor; turns out he’s a crook https://web.archive.org/web/20051126101341/https://us.gizmodo.com/gadgets/portable-media/iload-inventor-vents-is-out-on-bail-136934.php

#20yrsago Fox counsels viewers to share videos of shows https://memex.craphound.com/2005/11/13/fox-counsels-viewers-to-share-videos-of-shows/

#20yrsago Sony’s malware uninstaller leaves your computer vulnerable https://www.hack.fi/~muzzy/sony-drm/

#15yrsago Tim Wu on the new monopolists: a “last chapter” for The Master Switch https://web.archive.org/web/20151214010555/https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704635704575604993311538482

#15yrsago Man at San Diego airport opts out of porno scanner and grope, told he’ll be fined $10K unless he submits to fondling https://johnnyedge.blogspot.com/2010/11/these-events-took-place-roughly-between.html

#10yrsago 100 useful tips from a bygone era https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/search/index?q=gallaher++how+to+do+it#/?scroll=18

#10yrsago Copyfraud: Anne Frank Foundation claims father was “co-author,” extends copyright by decades https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/14/books/anne-frank-has-a-co-as-diary-gains-co-author-in-legal-move.html

#10yrsago Startup uses ultrasound chirps to covertly link and track all your devices https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/11/beware-of-ads-that-use-inaudible-sound-to-link-your-phone-tv-tablet-and-pc/

#10yrsago Cop who unplugged his cam before killing a 19-year-old girl is rehired https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/11/cop-fired-for-having-lapel-cam-turned-off-a-lot-reinstated-to-force/

#10yrsago Hospitals are patient zero for the Internet of Things infosec epidemic https://web.archive.org/web/20151113050443/https://www.bloomberg.com/features/2015-hospital-hack/

#10yrsago Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s FBI files https://www.muckrock.com/news/archives/2015/nov/13/ol-dirty-bastard-fbi-files/

#10yrsago I-Spy Surveillance Books: a child’s first Snoopers Charter https://scarfolk.blogspot.com/2015/11/i-spy-surveillance-books.html

#10yrsago China routinely tortures human rights lawyers https://www.businessinsider.com/amnesty-international-report-on-torture-2015-11

#10yrsago Fordite: a rare mineral only found in old Detroit auto-painting facilities https://miningeology.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-most-amazing-rocks.html

#10yrsago Facebook won’t remove photo of children tricked into posing for neo-fascist group https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-34797757

#5yrsago Big Car wants to pump the brakes on Right to Repair https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/13/said-no-one-ever/#r2r

#1yrago America's richest Medicare fraudsters are untouchable https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/13/last-gasp/#i-cant-breathe


Upcoming appearances (permalink)

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A screenshot of me at my desk, doing a livecast.

Recent appearances (permalink)



A grid of my books with Will Stahle covers..

Latest books (permalink)



A cardboard book box with the Macmillan logo.

Upcoming books (permalink)

  • "Unauthorized Bread": a middle-grades graphic novel adapted from my novella about refugees, toasters and DRM, FirstSecond, 2026

  • "Enshittification, Why Everything Suddenly Got Worse and What to Do About It" (the graphic novel), Firstsecond, 2026

  • "The Memex Method," Farrar, Straus, Giroux, 2026

  • "The Reverse-Centaur's Guide to AI," a short book about being a better AI critic, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2026



Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources:

Currently writing:

  • "The Reverse Centaur's Guide to AI," a short book for Farrar, Straus and Giroux about being an effective AI critic. FIRST DRAFT COMPLETE AND SUBMITTED.

  • A Little Brother short story about DIY insulin PLANNING


This work – excluding any serialized fiction – is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. That means you can use it any way you like, including commercially, provided that you attribute it to me, Cory Doctorow, and include a link to pluralistic.net.

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READ CAREFULLY: By reading this, you agree, on behalf of your employer, to release me from all obligations and waivers arising from any and all NON-NEGOTIATED agreements, licenses, terms-of-service, shrinkwrap, clickwrap, browsewrap, confidentiality, non-disclosure, non-compete and acceptable use policies ("BOGUS AGREEMENTS") that I have entered into with your employer, its partners, licensors, agents and assigns, in perpetuity, without prejudice to my ongoing rights and privileges. You further represent that you have the authority to release me from any BOGUS AGREEMENTS on behalf of your employer.

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coming to my senses

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coming to my senses

America rewards multitasking. I remember when multitasking at work became a skill to be proud of. How many jobs have I had that spoke of how "fast-paced" the work environment was going to be? Being pulled in many different directions at the same time is somehow a normal workplace demand. Did my mind adapt to these demands over time? Or does society simply reward the person who's already conditioned to do this? Even at home, it feels like we're supposed to cram more and more activities into the same 24 hours. Many of us are good at multitasking, but is it good for us? Is it good for me? Are we better off by having our attention cleaved into such small fractions? Are we living a full life or many slivers of one?

We all have notifications and chores and loved ones (online and not) who vie for our attention. How do we do it all without doing it all at once? I tackle neglected laundry during a zoom webinar. Netflix and Amazon make "second-screen" movies for an attention-sapped world. We put these films on while we scroll social media on our phones. As Will Tavlin in n+1 writes, these films are, "designed to be played but not watched". At first, this information soothed me. If filmmakers weren't going to create art for full immersion, why should I give it 100% of my time?

But these days multitasking is taking on a sinister, if not desperate, tone. The world around us encourages disconnection; constant dread rewards a scattered focus. Doomscrolling the news while watching it on TV blunts the impact of both. Half-ignoring my phone while I half-ignore the TV must be doing something to my brain. Where is the rest of my attention going? What can I do about it? In the spirit of an experiment, here are some things I'm trying out.

Concentrate on one thing. When I do something, I will give it my full attention. No looking at my phone while I walk—Seattle's uneven sidewalks make this dangerous anyway. No thinking about my to-do list while I shower. No responding to emails while I'm at the gym.

Change activities. If something isn't holding my attention, I'll do something else. There's a reality TV show I can only watch if I'm also scrolling the news or playing a mobile game. I can either suffer through it, attention undivided, or find something I enjoy doing more.

Come to my senses. Some things I have to do even when I'm feeling restless. In those events, I'll practice redirecting my thoughts to that task. What am I feeling in that moment? What are my senses telling me? Can I clear my mind while I watch a movie? Can I resist the impulse to check my phone at dinner? In quite moments can I search for my heartbeat or feel the subtle movements of my body?

in the present

I'm suspicious by default of anything I feel forced to do. At one time, multitasking felt like the only way to get ahead. But I think we're long past the days of walking while chewing bubble gum. When the present moment sucks so bad, it's rebellious to choose not to disconnect from it. I hope that I'll be successful trying to chip away at my addiction to doing everything at once. I'm going to try locking eyes and holding hands with the present. I hope it rewards me with a different future.

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rocketo
7 days ago
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seattle, wa
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What Does A Great Trans Athlete Deserve?

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Once every week or two, I swim molasses-slow laps at the YMCA. I’ve been on something of a fitness journey this year, testing out different forms of exercise to see what sticks—what feels the least torturous and humiliating as a fat person. Swimming appeals more than most activities I’ve tried. I like the quiet of being submerged in the water, where no one can talk to me as I try to remember to breathe.

I change as quickly as possible in the family locker room beforehand, because I’m not wanted in the women’s locker room. I learned this by experiencing several hostile interactions there with fellow members. Some of the cisgender women see me as a man invading their territory. They’ve told me so, and I’ve overheard them telling one another. “He said he’s a she,” one once loudly reported to her friend about me. (Wrong twice! I’m a they.) The Y staff has told me to both ignore the instigators and report their names, as if my harassers have stopped to properly introduce themselves.



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rocketo
7 days ago
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seattle, wa
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